Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Dude, Where's My Car?

I'm guessing this guy is about to be late for work. Personally, I would change plans and telecommute for the day. Now, I have lived in the northern climes in times past, and so I know how it is to come out in the morning and have to 1. find your car amongst the multitude of white, fluffy lumps in the parking lot, and 2. scrape it off and de-ice it before you can go anywhere. That's why I moved to Arizona. An interesting question that I would like to pose to this fellow is why in the world does he own a white car in such a locale?! It's hard enough to identify on its own, even more so when covered with snow and ice.

Nowadays, there exists such technology that you can start your car and turn on the heater and defroster before you even leave the house. Just push a button on your key "clicker", and, presuming your battery and starter are in good condition, you can emerge from your lair a few minutes later to a warm, de-iced, and idling automobile.

In college, I had a roommate who was from South Dakota, and because of the super-frigid wintertime temperatures in that state, he even had a "block warmer" on his car. Basically, there is a standard electrical plug flopping out the front of your car, and you plug this into a standard outlet overnight to keep your engine block from freezing. Apparently, should the block be frozen when you try to start it, it could potentially crack, causing you to be late to work - for a week or so, until you have the engine replaced. I'm guessing that if the auto-start technology were available to him back then, he would have indulged. Certainly preferable to the electrical plug dangling in an unsightly manner out from under the hood of the car, causing people to stare and whisper, and leading to uncomfortable explanations and justifications all the time. I can't tell you how many times I heard him field questions like, "What is that...THING...hanging out of your car?", or "Dude, your thing is hanging out!" , or "Is your car electric?" Ah, yes. Saving the world one car at a time. The state motto of South Dakota.

So, if you happen to live in the Great White North and suffer from these same afflictions, I urge you to fly south for the winter. It's beautiful down here, and the golf is spectacular this time of year. Just be sure to go home before summer hits. It's a dry heat.

Friday, December 14, 2007

So embarrassing!

As on Seinfeld, "I had an itch!!"

Nice parking job

no further comment needed

Monday, December 10, 2007

Christmas get-to-know-ya

Welcome to the Christmas edition of getting to know your friends. Okay, here's what you're supposed to do: Just copy this entire blog entry and paste it into a new post on your blog. Change all the answers so that they apply to you. So, here goes...

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Bags are definitely easier, but they're also a little too easy for those "curious" sorts, so it depends on who it's for. I'm a terrible, messy wrapper. My sister makes the most awesome looking wrapped gifts, but you almost need dynamite to get them open for all the tape!

2. Real tree or artificial? Fake. As a kid we used to actually go out into the woods and cut down a real tree (envision "Christmas Vacation" scene 1 here), then we just started buying real ones. Now it's just an artificial one.

3. When do you put up the tree? Day after Thanksgiving, or thereabouts.

4. When do you take the tree down? Why would I take it down?

5. Do you like eggnog? Absolutely, but it must be homemade - not the nasty grocery store stuff. I make it myself, and it's to die for.

6. Favorite gift received as a child? You know, I never did get any of the things I asked for!

7. Do you have a nativity scene? Yes, we have lots. My wife is enamored with the things, so they're all over our house. Big ones, small ones, porcelain ones, wood ones, etc...

8. Hardest person to buy for? My step-dad. And he lives in a small town, so I have to make sure it's good b/c he might not be able to return it if it doesn't work out.

9. Easiest person to buy for? the kiddos

10. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? I have received my share of heinous Christmas sweaters over the years.

11. Mail or email Christmas cards? snail mail, for sure.

12. Favorite Christmas Movie? I love "Christmas Vacation" ("Clark, that there's an RV!"). An old family favorite is "Emmett Otter's Jug Band Christmas".

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? Dec 20th

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? Sure, didn't you like it?

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Any and all Christmas foods, snacks, treats, etc... except fruit cake. Did you know there are only 10 of those in the whole world - they just keep getting passed around (see #14 above). Once one gets thrown out, a new one is made to replace it. Currently, the "youngest" one is 37 years old.

16. Clear lights or colored on the tree? Clear. Same for the house. Very. Straight. Lines.

17. Favorite Christmas song? O Holy Night. The Christmas Song. the First Noel. there are so many!

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? We used to always travel, but we've been at home now for the past few years. With 4 kids, it's likely we'll never travel at Christmas again.

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer? Dasher, Dancer, Blitzen, Comet, Vixen, Rudolph, etc...

20. Angel on the tree top or a star? This year, a star.

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? Usually 1 on Christmas Eve, the rest on Christmas Day.

22. Most annoying thing about this time of year? The fact that the Salvation Army panhandlers don't bother dressing up as Santa anymore.

23. What I love most about Christmas? Family, food, fun. People also tend to be nicer to each other, too, so that's a plus.

WISHING YOU ALL A WONDERFUL & JOYOUS CHRISTMAS!!!! Hope to read your "list" soon!!!