Dude, Where's My Car?

I'm guessing this guy is about to be late for work. Personally, I would change plans and telecommute for the day. Now, I have lived in the northern climes in times past, and so I know how it is to come out in the morning and have to 1. find your car amongst the multitude of white, fluffy lumps in the parking lot, and 2. scrape it off and de-ice it before you can go anywhere. That's why I moved to Arizona. An interesting question that I would like to pose to this fellow is why in the world does he own a white car in such a locale?! It's hard enough to identify on its own, even more so when covered with snow and ice.

Nowadays, there exists such technology that you can start your car and turn on the heater and defroster before you even leave the house. Just push a button on your key "clicker", and, presuming your battery and starter are in good condition, you can emerge from your lair a few minutes later to a warm, de-iced, and idling automobile.

In college, I had a roommate who was from South Dakota, and because of the super-frigid wintertime temperatures in that state, he even had a "block warmer" on his car. Basically, there is a standard electrical plug flopping out the front of your car, and you plug this into a standard outlet overnight to keep your engine block from freezing. Apparently, should the block be frozen when you try to start it, it could potentially crack, causing you to be late to work - for a week or so, until you have the engine replaced. I'm guessing that if the auto-start technology were available to him back then, he would have indulged. Certainly preferable to the electrical plug dangling in an unsightly manner out from under the hood of the car, causing people to stare and whisper, and leading to uncomfortable explanations and justifications all the time. I can't tell you how many times I heard him field questions like, "What is that...THING...hanging out of your car?", or "Dude, your thing is hanging out!" , or "Is your car electric?" Ah, yes. Saving the world one car at a time. The state motto of South Dakota.

So, if you happen to live in the Great White North and suffer from these same afflictions, I urge you to fly south for the winter. It's beautiful down here, and the golf is spectacular this time of year. Just be sure to go home before summer hits. It's a dry heat.